dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
