I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Randomize
