Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
too bad you live with your parents still
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
