Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize