I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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