Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
