party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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