I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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