So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize