A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
