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He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
