So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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