I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
