Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
