My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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