is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
