Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
This is my gift to your gina
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
