false alarm. still invincible.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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