I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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