i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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