well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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