i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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