U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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