What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
