I'm drive I can fine osifer
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
