The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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