is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
