The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
