whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
