And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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