Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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