Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
