i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
