I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
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