i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize