Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
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