The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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