Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
