Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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