her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
