wrigley field is MILF paradise
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
