He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Dear god my vagina.
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