i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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