Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Randomize
