The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
