I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
