I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize