yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
