I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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