I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Randomize
