Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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