They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
