no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
