So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
