Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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