I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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