Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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