you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
