I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
