ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
