Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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