I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
