she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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