i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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