well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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