My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
