If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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