Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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