i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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