She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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