he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
