I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
