We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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