i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
